


Fight What You Hate, or Save What You Love

by thesherlockianwhjustcant



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: After TLJ, Angst, F/M, Fluff, Force Bond (Star Wars), Loneliness, there's really not much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-24
Updated: 2018-01-24
Packaged: 2019-03-08 19:17:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13464813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesherlockianwhjustcant/pseuds/thesherlockianwhjustcant
Summary: Takes place after the events on Crait, in canon. Since she closed the Falcon door on him, Rey hasn't heard from Ben through their bond, and she begins to wonder if it's broken for good. After weeks of silence, the Force connects them once again. Will Rey be able to get through to Ben this time? Or will Kylo take over for good?---This is honestly kinda crappy, but it's soft and cute, so maybe y'all will like it. Enjoy!





	Fight What You Hate, or Save What You Love

**Author's Note:**

> This is shitty, but I thought I'd put it out there. The world needs more soft Reylo one-shots.

Ever since the battle on Crait, Rey waited for the Force to connect her and Ben again. A week passed, and nothing happened, the longest they'd gone since the connection had been made. She began to wonder if they would ever connect again.

Weeks passed by with no contact from Ben. Kylo ruled over the First Order as they hunted the Resistance down. They went from planet to planet, star system to star system searching for them, but Rey was confident they wouldn’t find them. They’d gone somewhere they’d never think to check. At least, that’s what she hoped.

With Luke’s lightsaber broken, Rey was attempting to create a new one. The saber was beyond repair, but she was able to use the split Kyber crystal to fuel her new one. Her creation was coming along slowly, but it _was_ coming along. She expected to be able to use it within the next few weeks. She wasn’t sure she would need it, but better safe than sorry.

One evening, she had just returned to her quarters at the new base when she suddenly felt the familiar feeling of the Force wash over her as it connected her and Ben. She sensed him behind her as she faced her bed, and instead of turning around like she so desperately wanted to, she remained facing forward, pretending as if she hadn’t realized the connection had taken hold.

“Where are you?” He asked finally.

Rey clenched her jaw as she realized it was Kylo visiting her, not Ben. She remained quiet and continued to ignore him.

“I'll find you,” he said, his voice full of faux confidence. She knew him better than that by now. She heard the small tremble in his voice and knew how much confidence he lacked. “You know I will.”

Rey busied herself by folding the clothes lying about, refusing to take the bait. She couldn't bring herself to acknowledge him.

“Can you not hear me anymore?” His voice was softer this time, more curious than anything else, and his question broke her heart all over again. He thought he was alone yet again, solitary in the vast expanse of the Galaxy. Yet even that could not bring her to turn around and face him.

After a few moments, the Force connection died, and she was alone again. Releasing a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding, Rey climbed into bed and went to sleep.

For the next few weeks, the Force regularly connected them, and Rey continued to ignore him, pretend she did not hear. At first, Kylo would speak, telling her how he'd find the Resistance as he made empty threats. But then, Ben would come out, and his curiosity would show. As well as his loneliness. Rey _felt_ it as much as she heard it in his voice. She knew he was hurting; she knew it was her fault, but she couldn't talk to him. Not yet. She needed Ben and _only_ Ben. And she couldn't face him until Kylo was in the background, until Ben came to her first, not Kylo.

Rey was just drifting to sleep when she felt it, felt the Force connection come alive. Expecting to hear Kylo rant about the Resistance and threaten her friends, she kept up her routine of cool ignorance. But then she heard a shallow, shaky intake of breath, and she had to turn her head.

Ben knelt before her, his head bowed low. “I can't do this. I'm not strong enough.” His voice was barely a whisper. “I have what I've always wanted, but I can't help but feel like I've lost everything. I don't know what to do.”

Rey stood up and walked closer to him, but he didn't seem to notice. So she knelt beside him, but still he remained oblivious to her movements.

“I've lost myself. I don't know who I am, what I am. I need to find myself, but I don't know how.”

At this moment, Rey couldn't hold back any longer, and she reached out to touch Ben's shoulder. Immediately, his head shot up and his eyes found hers. He released a puff of breath, seemingly relieved that she was there.

“I didn't think you could hear me,” he said. “I thought you weren't listening.”

“I've always been here,” she said. “I could always hear you, and I always listened.” She paused, knowing her next words would shatter Ben. “But I can't help you.” His face immediately fell, and she could see Kylo come to the surface. Choosing her next words carefully, Rey said, “You said it yourself. _You_ have to find yourself. You have to decide where your allegiances lie. I can't do that for you.”

Kylo subsided as Ben asked softly, “How?”

Rey wasn't sure what he meant, or how he wanted her to answer, but suddenly words that Finn had told her ran through her brain. Rose had said them to Finn, and Rey decided to give Ben a paraphrased version of them. “You have to decide: fight what you hate, or save what you love. You can't do both.”

He looked at her, an odd expression on his face as she stood and took a step back. Not ten seconds later, the bond dissipated, leaving Rey alone. A single tear ran down her face. Had she gotten through to Ben or Kylo?

*****

Ben released a shaky breath as the Force connection broke. For the first time in weeks, he felt complete. Just hearing her voice had calmed him, made him whole again. He hadn't realized that _that_ was what he'd been missing, craving.

Her words rang in his mind. _Fight what you hate, or save what you love._ What did he hate in this world? Snoke? He was gone, had been for weeks. There was nothing left to fight there. Luke? Also gone. His parents? Did he really hate his parents? The image if his father's shocked eyes as his lightsaber sliced through him flashed before him, and the familiar regret twinged in his gut. He and his father were not close, but not a day went by that he didn't regret killing him. As for his mother, well… he'd never been able to bring himself to hate her.

So if there wasn't anything left to hate, that left him with saving what he loved. But what did he love?

 _Rey_.

No. No, he couldn't love her. That was impossible. He didn't—

The Force all but threw him into Rey's room again. Only this time, she was fast asleep. Ben raked his eyes over her resting form. She looked so peaceful, so different than how he usually saw her. His heart ached at the mere sight if her, and he longed to hear her voice again. If only she would wake—

He was in love with her. The realization hit him like a train, knocking him back into his own quarters. He loved her. He loved her. How had he not seen it before now? No wonder he's been so miserable. He knew he felt safe with Rey; he knew she understood him better than anyone else, but he hadn't thought he _loved_ her.

He had to go. He had to find her and go to her. He needed to see her, to feel her, and not just through the bond. In flesh and blood, he needed to see her.

*****

A loud siren-alarm woke Rey with a start just before someone pounded on her door. Groggily, she got up and opened the door. It was Poe.

“What's going on?” She asked.

“A First Order ship just landed a few miles from here. We may need you.”

This news came like a bucket of cold water, waking her up fully. She nodded as she grabbed her new lightsaber, still in the early stages of development, but it was better than nothing. She followed Poe out to the general area, where other Resistance members were rushing about, trying to gain the upper hand on this new threat. Her gut twisted up into nervous knots. It had been nearly three weeks since her last Force connection with Ben, and she wondered for the millionth if she got through to him.

An officer looking out of a pair of binoculars and standing nearby Poe and Rey suddenly said, “Oh my god, it's _him_.”

Rey's stomach dropped. “Let me see,” she said, holding her hand out for the binoculars. The officer handed them over. She took a breath before looking through them. It took her a moment to focus them and find the figure the officer mentioned, but once she did, her stomach twisted. It was Kylo. Not Ben. He was dressed in his usual attire, mask and everything. The mask was key to showing who Rey was dealing with. He was walking toward their base, but as he drew nearer, he slowed before stopping altogether a few hundred yards outside of the entrance.

Rey handed the binoculars over to Poe when he asked, and she knew she had to be the one to face him. No one else could handle him. No one else stood a chance. “I have to go,” she said.

“What? Are you kidding me?” He yelled as he pulled the binoculars away from his face. “That's suicide!”

Finn walked up just then and said, “What's going on?”

Poe turned to Finn. “Maybe you can talk her out of it. She wants to go face down Kylo Ren by herself.”

Finn turned to her with a desperate look on his face. “Rey, please don't do this. I can't lose you. Please.” He gave her his best puppy-dog eyes, but her mind was made.

They didn’t understand. They didn’t know how she and Ben were connected, and they didn’t know that this was her last chance to get him back. To pry him out of the cold, tight grasp of Kylo Ren. They didn’t know.

“I have to,” she said simply. “If things go south, get out of here, you hear me?”

She didn't wait for their reply. Instead, she walked to the entrance with her head held high and prepared to face Kylo.

She stepped outside into the blistering heat of the Jakku desert. It took a moment for her eyes to adjust, and then she started making her way towards him, stopping a few paces away from him.

“I thought about what you said,” he declared, his voice distorted by the mask.

“So I guess your mind is made up, then,” Rey replied.

He nodded, and she ignited her lightsaber, both ends burning the deepest shade of purple. It was the first time she'd ignited it, and she couldn't help but notice the sound it made, how similar it was to Kylo’s saber.

Instead of reaching for his saber, though, Kylo reached for his mask and removed it. He dropped it to the sand. His face was closed off, much like the first time she’d seen him without it.  He reached for his saber next, and Rey readied herself dreading having to fight him. She took a deep breath, closing her eyes and trying to balance herself. This was it.

His saber landed on the ground in front of her. Rey paused, looking down at it, as she tried to decide if what she was seeing was real. She looked up at him, confused.

“I don't need it,” he said, his face open, vulnerable. “I don't need any of it.” He paused, removing his gloves and tossing them to the sand too. “Just you.”

“Ben,” Rey said breathlessly, tears streaming down her face, tremendously relieved it was him. She killed her saber as she stepped closer. She reached out cautiously, and he took her hand, pulling her close.

“I'm sorry,” he said softly. “I'm so, so sorry.”

“I know.” With her free hand, she reached up and caressed the side of his face.

“I love you,” he blurted.

She smiled through her relieved tears and tugged his head down for a kiss. His soft lips met hers in a rush, a beautiful, languid rush. It was electric. An energy passed between them, a _balanced_ energy, pulsing steadily. When they broke away, that energy remained, forever there between them, inside them. Rey moved her hand down and laced her fingers together with his. He tightened his grip as if to affirm she was there, that she was real. “I love you,” he said again, his voice stronger this time.

Rey smiled up at him, tugging him towards the entrance of the base, and said, “I know.”

**Author's Note:**

> Also, I have this headcanon about purple lightsabers. If we ignore that green lightsabers are a thing for a moment, and think about blue and red only, blue represents the light and red represents the dark. Purple, the secondary color formed out of the combination of blue and red, represents balanced Jedi/Grey Jedi. Jedi who have equal parts light (blue) and dark (red) in them, and it's reflected in their saber. (which is why I gave Rey purple in this fic)
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!


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